Thoughts of a Hijaabi

“Is it not a human soul?”

radf — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 20:41:34 +0000

Too much chaos and hatred in this world. People need to stop taking action without thinking. People need to stop being selfish and realize that when they are going to do something stupid, it will affect others. Saying you love the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) means to follow him and his practices. Following the ways of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) means to be tolerant, patient, think of 70 excuses for your brother and sister, to be rational and logical. He (peace and blessings be upon him) was the best example, he never encouraged violence! Think of when the garbage was thrown at him day after day, one day the lady didn’t throw garbage at him, she didn’t come out, what did he do? He went to go check on her, to make sure she’s okay. Think of when he was chased out of the city of Ta’if, the kids and slaves chased him out of the city throwing rocks at him. His shoes were full of blood, and this was when he was incredibly sad because it was right after he lost his beloved wife and uncle, what did he do? He prayed for the people of Tai’f! Our Prophet (peace and blessings told us to always give to others, help others and to always smile. THIS is the way of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). When he was forced to leave his beloved city of Makkah, after his own people would hurt and torment him day after day, what did he do? He *never* took revenge. He made du’a hoping that he can one day return. He didn’t go after the people who hurt him. No, throughout all the hardships that came to him in his life he accepted them all patiently. He never raised his voice, he never spoke ill or wished bad for anyone. He would make du’a saying “Oh Allah, forgive them for they know not,” sA.

Enough is enough. Spread the love. And take out a few moments of your day for the family of Ambassador Chris Stevens. A kind word is charity; don’t make excuses, just do it.

Day 5: What Community Feels Like

radf — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 17:51:47 +0000

I remember my first ICNYU event vividly. I was in 12^th grade, it was January and my brother told me about an event at NYU. I thought of it as a trip to the city. For me, high school was just a good time all the time, never had a care in the world. I also had like 1 Muslim friend when I was in high school and we didn’t even go to school together, we knew each other from the Masjid. I didn’t really ever associate with Muslims in high school, and I honestly didn’t want to. However, my older brother went to Stony Brook and his MSA had a wonderful impact on him. He was always happy with his friends and was excited to go to MSA events, so I decided to go. It was a weekend intensive on the book ‘Provisions for the Seekers.’ To me, the fact that people were spending their weekend to learn something non-school related, voluntarily, seemed ridiculous, and I was starting to question why I was there. I remember getting to the building, the original building where they had this small prayer room in a basement. The event itself was in this basement, it was cold, and they used folded tables as dividers. At the time, I had no idea who Imam Khalid Latif was, at first I thought he was a freshmen, until my brother told me he is the Chaplain. When I walked in the room I thought, wow I made a huge mistake coming here. I didn’t know anyone, and I thought I would at least be sitting near my brother but the room was gender separated. I was literally in a whole new world and was debating on calling friends to come to the city and to sneak out. I debated and stood there for a while then decided to sit. I kept on thinking, stupid Fatoma, why are you here? You’re in 12^th grade, and these are NYU kids, kids you would never in your life talk to. It wasn’t until NYU Sisters started talking to me. They asked my name, how I found out about the event and if I was in school. I told them I was only in high school and brother told me about the event and they happily reassured me that many non-NYU students come to their events. Those assurances made me feel better, much better. As the program started I began to feel at peace, a peace that I honestly never felt before. I felt, as if the speaker was talking to me. So many problems and issues that I had came up in the discussion and simple remedies I never thought of before were revealed to me. The speaker was so cool, he was a scholar and I never expected him of all people to be able to say something that would relate to me. Then, as if I didn’t experience enough new things or have enough surprises, something completely out of this world happened to me when we broke for Salah. During Salah I began to weep. This concept made no sense to me, I heard of it but never thought it was something that would happen to me. Uncontrollable tears began to roll down my cheeks and tried to hide it but they just wouldn’t stop. I sat there for a bit making du’a and still, they wouldn’t stop. First time I was conversing with Allah, first time I made a legitimate du’a. The sister next to me put her hand on my back and she gave me a tissue and then gave me a hug. Again, foreign concept: you don’t know me, why do you even care? But she did care, she honestly cared. This first experience I had with the Muslims at NYU made their MSA create a special place in my heart. At this point, I had already applied to colleges and was now at the time where I had to figure out where to go, except now there was a new factor that I started considering for these colleges-do they have an MSA? My parents wanted me to go to Stony, and to their disappointment I didn’t get in. To me, that was a sign that Allah didn’t want me to be with good Muslims. I was taught that good people only hang out with good people, my rejection from Stony hurt only because I wanted to become better, but I took it as a sign that Allah has turned His back on me. My brother told me that he would come pick me up and take me to any Stony event I want to go to, and that I can go to any MSA I want to. He explained how College life is different from high school; you’re not constricted to the friends or people you are exposed to. So I decided since NYU had an amazing impact on me, I should go and hit up as many MSA’s as I can and try to benefit from them all! So that was my plan and I decided to go to Old Westbury<3

The summer ended and then it was time for me to go to Freshmen Orientation. I was beyond nervous but subhanAllah, Allah reunited me with a beautiful friend that I had met about a year ago at Summer Tajweed classes and to this day I have the honor of calling her my friend<3 I am so thankful for all my Old Westbury friends, they all have helped me through so much and have helped become the person that I am today! Right after that, I noticed one of the Orientation Leaders was Muslim and she told us about the MSA room, halal food etc… Within time, all the Muslim girls found each other, we split up into our groups and then we decided to ditch Orientation, like a boss. I went home with this amazing feeling of happiness. My heart was excited again, meeting people for the sake of Allah! I was overjoyed and told my mom about everything as soon as I got home. Old Westbury MSA was small, we didn’t have too many events but it was like a family. Naps in the MSA room, meeting up with each other to pray together, finding people to break your fast together, silly games here and there etc… we didn’t have much but we were happy with one another, and this was my first time interacting with Muslims. I started scoping out other MSA’s and going to different events at campuses all over the place. I always would try my best to make the trip out to NYU, where I would feel most comfortable. My parents hated it and would say stay at your school or go with Yaser. I love my older brother, he’s my best friend and I look up to him. I’m grateful for our relationship, but I hated going to events and being ‘Yaser Rad’s little sister.’ I began to notice a trend of each MSA thinking they’re the best. I’m all for school pride, sure have MSA pride as well, but I began to feel out of place when going to other schools. I began to feel this new sense of not belonging when I went to other MSA’s. This was beyond painful, because I was now starting to interact with Muslims and they were the ones who were hurting me. I spent some time just staying away from MSA’s period. I look back at that time and think how I deprived myself of so much knowledge. But I don’t regret that time, because that time also allowed me to heal from being hurt. Had I not taken that time, I may have never associated with Muslims ever again.

I can honestly say that the ICNYU is the reason why I began to have faith in other Muslims again. I would make the trip to NYU as many times as my parents would allow me, and once I would reach the event I would feel at peace. No matter what the event was, I was surrounded by beautiful people giving me a different iman boost. You see, at the ICNYU it doesn’t matter what your level of faith is, who you are, Muslim or non-Muslim, everyone there is accepted. The ICNYU has a catch phrase that they started using, “What Community Should Feel Like.” May Allah reward the ICNYU members and Imam Khalid Latif because they live up to that, the ICNYU truly teaches us what a Community is supposed to feel like. When you go there, you don’t feel judged, you don’t have to put on a face, you go there and you are accepted for who you are. If you need help, you will find it there, if you need a place to just sit, go there, if you need to talk, even a stranger will talk to you. Whenever I meet someone who asks me where they should go to start building a community, or what events to go to, I immediately tell them to go to the ICNYU. I attended numerous ICNYU events throughout my undergrad years and I am so thankful for each and every one of them. This past year was one of my toughest years on numerous levels-work, grad school, health, personal problems and subhanAllah just being at IC would heal them. When I was at school or work, whenever I found a 15 or even a 10-minute break I would literally just run to the IC. I’d sit there for a few minutes, talk to a few people and then run back. There were moments when I would run there being a huge emotional mess and on the run back to class I’d be a crazy hijaabi grinning from ear to ear-no worries, no one can see my ears. They offer classes during the week, so I would force myself to go there right after work and I wouldn’t mind getting home at almost midnight instead of 7pm, because I knew being there was good for my soul, it was good for my deen, it made me feel like I had a purpose in life. This is the only place where I have met Muslims who when you talk to them, they really are interested and they actually care and listen to you. I would never understand why Imam Khalid would make people do group work and interact with one another by knowing weird information about each other. It’s because he is building a community; he is forcing us to talk to people who we wouldn’t talk to. He’s forcing us to be social with one another, and even if we don’t remember the names, we will remember that one interesting fact about that person. The love and appreciation I have for the IC is indescribable. It helped me get out of a dark place when I basically had no faith in other Muslims. That sounds harsh, it sounds terrible, but we need to realize that our actions or words all have a weight to them. I was at a terrible point, where I didn’t want to be with Muslims anymore. We can make someone smile, or make them break down and cry. We can give someone joy, or we can scar them and make them never want to come back. I never dealt with Muslims before until College, and when I started seeing this new hurtful side, I didn’t want to have Muslims friends. I stopped associating with them, reached out to old friends. And this isn’t to say that we should have only Muslim friends. Good people are of all races, cultures and religions; we just have to find them. It’s a hard journey, but Allah has put all people in our lives for a reason. They either elevate our faith, increase our love for one another or they will show us actions that will hurt us. It took me a while to not take these things to heart, because that was when it really damaged me as a person and put me in a place I never want to go back to. We should learn from them. My father loves telling us about Luqman, and ever since I can remember he would always tell us, “You learn from bad people actions that you should avoid.”

I went to the IC yesterday for their class between Asr and Maghrib. As I was sitting in the workshop, I heard numerous voices outside, and it didn’t distract me. Instead it made me happy because you heard people reconnecting; you heard the beautiful heart felt loving salams given to one another, you heard what a true Community sounds like. Yesterday I went to my first IC iftaar and I pray inshaAllah that I can go to more. You look around and you just feel love. You feel happiness. You feel this special solace that is hard to get at other places. SubhanAllah, I still have chills of happiness from last night. Clearly, I have an intense love and appreciation for the IC. I could write on and on, and if you’ve made it this far props to you! I leave you with this thought, “Every time you go out and touch someone’s life, your faith will be renewed and you will have renewed energy to get up the next day and to be a Muslim tomorrow.” -Imam Zaid Shakir May Allah reward the ICNYU Community for all the help they have given me through the years and continue to be present in my life for years to come!

Keep the entire Ummah in your du’as.
O Allah, You are the Forgiver, You love to forgive, so forgive us.
Allahumma sali ala sayyidina muhammadin an-Nabbiyil ummiyi Wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salim.

Take care inshaAllah,

☮radf

Day 4: Beautiful Dinner Table

radf — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 17:26:24 +0000

So for the past 4-5 years, I haven’t been home much, the irony here is that I still live at home. I mean between classes, working at least 2 jobs, and then having some other extra curricular activities here and there, things get crazy. I’ve changed my schedule around this Ramadan so I can try to be home as much as possible! I was actually home for the first 4 days of Ramadan; to be home this many days in a row really is a Ramadan miracle for me! Being home and seeing my parents and brothers for dinner is amazing! I feel like I miss out on so much when I’m working. I hate that I miss events for my little brothers or even quality time of literally juss sitting on the couch and staring at mom-yeah buddy, creeper status, I know. It’s insane how much we all work and how much we have to cram into a single day. I myself always have a crazy schedule so I know what its like traveling form place to place; from work to class to internship, to meetings and then bouncing off from borough to borough and trying to make it back home to Long Island. Everything is really jam packed into my schedule, that’s juss how I’ve always been since high school. One thing that I do have to do is make time to be with my family. Honestly, it is really hard. I’m always everywhere, and my family time is often sacrificed. Hamdulillah, my family understands, but that really isn’t the important part. The important part is that I am missing my family; I need them in my life! I need my dad to make his beyond corny jokes and to make fun of everything I do. I need my mom’s snippy comments and witty sarcasm, and hugs. I need my youngest brother to be there to remind me about innocence and to figure out why he’s dancing around the house. I need my little brother’s amazing hugs and to hear his laughter and weird jokes that manage to make me laugh. The hardest person to get in contact with is my oldest brother who sort of moved out 4 years ago and now lives upstate. When he left for school we were all depressed, just knowing that he wasn’t coming home for the night made us sad. However, every time he comes home we’d all try to change our schedules, we’d try to make sure the family dinner table was full and everyone was there. Throughout the years I realized that I need to sneak in family time anywhere I can. My dad also goes to the city, so whenever he’d be able to, I’d take a ride to the city with him. My dad will ask the same questions and tell me the same stories, he even makes the same comments as we pass the same places but he’s my dad, and I listen. I act surprised and try to listen intently each time. It’s sad that with time, we become really impatient with our parents, we have to keep our cool with them. I know it can be hard, but think of all the stupid things we did as kids, I was a weird kid man, I’m surprised my parents never disowned me. When my mom picks me up from the train station I try to tell her about my day, telling her everything to the point where she really doesn’t care and I listen to what she did for the day. On days I can find time to call, I call my mom just to say hi and to see what she’s up to. I’ll sit in the living room with everyone doing my work, but juss being around them feels good.

Ramadan brought my family together. Do you know how beautiful it is to sit at a dinner table and see the spots filled? Granted, my older brother isn’t home, but he calls us and briefs us in on what goes on in good old Rochester. Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday night, Allah gave me the blessing of having dinner with my family. Looking around the table, I see my parents smiling and my brothers giggling and being silly for God knows what, seriously I cant keep track of what they laugh about, we all have a laughing problem we can’t control. And the fact that I actually ate real food, not random snacks or caffeine or energy drinks, how I normally get through a workday.

As I got on the train this morning, I felt sad knowing that I’m going to miss dinner with my family tonight. I can’t wait to get home and see them again. Changing my work and internship schedule around for Ramadan was one of the smartest things I’ve ever done. This Ramadan, I knew it was time to reconnect with my family. We’re all always scattered around, but Ramadan is such a beautiful and blessed month that is has brought us all home. Islam doesn’t tell us to be good to our family for no reason. There is wisdom behind each and everything we are supposed to do. I find happiness when I’m with my family. I find peace when I’m with my family. My parents and brothers are the ones who have always been there for me. Yes we get in arguments, yes we don’t always see eye to eye and we clash sometimes, but that doesn’t mean I should neglect them. You don’t want to be surrounded by people who wont tell you that you need to make a change in your life, you don’t want to be surrounded by people who give you fake advice or say things juss to keep you thinking you’re doing right. You want to be with people who want you to succeed, who want to se you be triumphant and become a better person each day. We live in a time where the perception of family is just disgusting. The media portrays parents to be stupid and makes okay to hate your siblings. Astaghfurullah. It really depresses me when I see this stuff on TV because kids believe it. Maintaining good relations with parents and siblings isn’t always easy, but we need to make an effort. I know it’s hard, it takes time, and it truly does take effort, but inshaAllah we’ll be rewarded for making the efforts. Time we spend making our parents happy with us will be good deeds for us, why should we deprive ourselves of this? Most Ramadan’s I make an insane list of things that I want to accomplish before the month is over. This year, I realized I need to start from the roots. I can build on my character through interacting with my family. I can get good deeds by helping out around the house, helping with food or even just sitting down and talking and making my parents happy. Why should I set myself up for goals that are hard to meet and then get depressed for not completing them? Sometimes, it’s the simple things that we need to do that will help us get closer to Allah. We shouldn’t isolate ourselves and forget about others, and we shouldn’t be too social, it’s the right balance that we need. For me, I know I need to spend as much time with my family and the best time is to do it during Ramadan! Good deeds are multiplied! My family has a Qur’an reading competition-my mom is beast, she always wins, but hey we still get good deeds for trying J If you really want to know someone, see how they interact with their parents, see how they interact with their sibling(s), and that’ll answer a lot of questions you may have about them. I leave you with this hadith, “The best of you are those who are best to their families.” May Allah make us those who have good relations with their families, who have patience and are kind with their family and who go out of their way to make their parents happy and take care of their parents.

Keep the entire Ummah in your du’as.

O Allah, You are the Forgiver, You love to forgive, so forgive us.

Allahumma sali ala sayyidina muhammadin an-Nabbiyil ummiyi Wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salim.

Take care inshaAllah,

☮radf

Day 3: Like your last.

radf — Mon, 23 Jul 2012 18:38:41 +0000

You know all the catch phrases, stupid songs, sayings etc… that talk about living it up and enjoying each moment as if it’s your last. I think it’s become an overly used catch phrase that no one really lives up to. I was cleaning my room when my mom brought a bunch of stuff that I basically refused to look at for about 2 weeks now. 10 days ago I got the worse phone call ever. My 11 year old brother was crying telling me they got in a car accident and they’re taking my mom away in an ambulance and he doesn’t know where my other brother is. My heart literally stopped beating for a moment and I had no idea how to react. Being at home, not knowing what was going on and hearing the fear in my little brothers voice wasn’t at all helpful. After a while, I got to talk to my mom and my other brother and found out that hamdulillah they were okay, nothing too severe but bruises and shock. I had to start calling tow trucks and my insurance to figure out what to do with my car. My car was apparently already towed and when I called the guy, he asked, ‘Oh, those people are alive?’ That was really crappy timing on his part. As I went to the hospital to go pick up my mom and brothers, I was really prepared for the worse the way the tow truck guy responded. Any broken limbs? Scratches? Cuts? Wheel chair? Allahu ‘Alam I just prepared for the worse. I finally got to the hospital my mom and brothers were with a dear family friend of our family who never left her side, not for one moment. To my surprise, they all looked fine, they said that they don’t feel pain yet but the doctor warned them that it’ll hit them later. That was probably the longest day of my life. During that time, I further found comfort in my faith, yeah I was a wreck because I can get emotional easily but all I could do was make du’a, pray, make du’a, pray and squeeze my tasbih. Allah further showed me who cares, who doesn’t and who just wants gossip. So how did all these memories come from a pile of stuff that my mom made me look through? Well there are 3 things that I love dearly that have been in my car since the first day I got it: my Qur’an, my du’a pack and my Allah chain. I remember when I got that chain. Back in high when I was…yeah… When I graduated high school I knew I wanted to change, I still wanted to be Fatoma Rad, but better. I knew that going to undergrad in a college where no one knew me would be something good. Hamdulillah I met amazing people in my 4 years of Undergrad through work, internships and juss bumming around at old west, I don’t regret one moment of undergrad, hamdulillah.
My first car died, it like literally died on Queens Main St and that was it. My Sentra was my second car and I loved it so much-no, it’s not weird to love a car, in fact it’s Sunnah to take care and name the things that we love and that are important to us. When I got my Sentra it was brand new, so it literally was my baby. Can’t really recite the Adhan in the ear of a car so next best thing: keep a Qur’an in it all the time. This Qur’an was with me throughout undergrad, and was with me every single trip I made no matter how long or short. This Qur’an was with me through the joys and tears that I had in undergrad. As I look at it now, I feel a sense of security, the security that I have felt all these years when I was in my car. When I found out that my car was a total loss, I didn’t cry, but when I saw it, I did cry. Yeah, it is a bit stupid crying over a car, but I didn’t cry because I am someone who is materialistic. I cried because of what my car meant to me. Majority of the time, at least 90% of the time, my car was taking me somewhere to get more knowledge. And you know what, majority of the time my car was taking me somewhere to learn more about the deen or it was taking me somewhere where I was working for the deen. My car was the MIST NY mule for about 2 years and like a trooper it made all those insane Costco trips. My car is full of amazing memories. From insane road trips with friends whom I love and adore, with family, with those who I love and cherish and it has been everywhere-seriously, all of Long Island, Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, Jersey, Connecticut, that little fatso saw it all! So is there a meaning to all this babble? Yes. I was a psycho when it came to my car. OCD to the max. Got it washed all the time, got its tired rotated on time, bought it new things when it was needed, oil changed it on time with synthetic oil only and even gave it accessories like tints, car starter and an alarm. It took me 4 years to add to the car, keep it in mint condition but in the end, it took the blink of an eye to destroy it. Death. We all know about it, and we all shall taste it, but are we ready for it? If you died right now, can you say you’re in a good place in life? Aside from good deeds and fulfilling the fard, are we ready? Have we made a mends with people who we have hurt, or at least made an effort to do so? Have we tried taking care of those who are less fortunate than us? Have we taught others what we know? Have we reached a hand out or offered our shoulder to someone who needs comfort or is having a bad day. Do we even carry ourselves in a happy manner and make sure we greet everyone with a smile? I know where I stand. You know where you stand. And Allah knows us better than we do. Lets all at least make the niyyah to try to become better. Forget about this might be your last Ramdan, this might be your last day, hour, or even minute, Allahu Alam. Yes we all must face death, we just have to prepare ourselves and remember that it is not of the Sunnah to sit and be scared of death. My teacher used to tell me that Islam isn’t about sitting in a corner by yourself yelling out ‘Allah! Allah!’-it used to make me laugh. But over the years I’ve come to understand it more and more. The way we interact with others, that’s Islam. The way we talk to others, that’s Islam. The way we make others feel, that’s Islam. Islam is a whole and complete religion. It is in every single thing we do, so lets prepare ourselves in all areas inshaAllah. Imam al Ghazali said it best; beautiful and simple: “My dear son…Live as long as you may, for verily you must die. Love whoever you wish, for one day you shall taste its separation. And do what you will, you will be rewarded accordingly.”

Keep the entire Ummah in your du’as.
O Allah, You are the Forgiver, You love to forgive, so forgive us.
Allahumma sali ala sayyidina muhammadin an-Nabbiyil ummiyi Wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salim.

Take care inshaAllah,

☮radf

Day 2: love&care

radf — Sun, 22 Jul 2012 23:41:45 +0000

Hamdulillah, Allah has blessed me with a beautiful backyard that is the perfect escape from reality. My father has a passion for gardening and it passed over to my mom as well. The amount of love he has for his flowers is something we all pick on in my house. When we were younger, well to this day, we tease him and say he loves his flowers and his garden more than us. It really is something to watch him when he is doing his gardening. He has this special look and determination in his eyes to make sure everything is perfect. He puts in time and effort into everything he does. My father is an amazing person mashaAllah. He has an amazing work ethic in which honesty is the best policy, you do your best and leave the rest to Allah and make sure you are always trying. It is the Sunnah to do everything to the best of your ability. I think this is something that we lack of in a way. Sometimes, we can be a bit lazy. I really do try to do things to the best of my ability, and whatever I am deficient in I just make du’a to Allah for the areas that I lack in and inshaAllah I’ll get better. I sat on the grass yesterday as I watched my parents pull weeds, which is really a ridiculous task. I tried helping, but seriously, such a ridiculous task! I had to figure out what’s a weed, what’s a good one, what’s a bad one, how to properly pull it and not damage the flowers etc…. The amount of time it took me to do a small patch was actually relaxing. It reminded me of the dunya. We all try and make something of ourselves; we try to do become something to the best of our ability. No matter how hard it may be, no matter what may be holding us back, we still push and try to the best of our ability and take on what help we can along the way. There’s this one weed that’s crazy, it not only grows taking over the dirt, but it will wrap itself to every single part of the flower becoming intertwined with the flower to the point where if you try to pull it, it may rip or kill the flower. I sat there carefully untwisting the weeds from the flower, pulling and unwrapping so carefully to make sure I don’t hurt the flowers. My dad then told me something brilliant that my slow mind wouldn’t think of. He said I’m wasting my time unwrapping the weeds; rather, I should look for their roots and pull out the roots. Once the root is pulled, I can leave the parts that have twisted itself to the flower, because without a root, it will dry out. It just reminded me of every time I was in trouble or every time I was trying to make a change in my life. If we want to make a change, we have to fully commit to it and tackle the problem head on. It’s better to sit down, take a step back, and try to realize what is the source of the problem. To me, the weeds are dunya. It keeps on making its way to us, and if we don’t realize this, the dunya will begin to suffocate and choke us. Ramadan is a time for us to perfect ourselves. We’ve been given the opportunity; Allah changed the world for us! Each and every one of us has the ability to become a better person, a better Mu’min. During Ramadan we are given even more opportunities to be able to do this. We can excel in our deen, we can excel in good deeds, and inshaAllah we can become a better well rounded person overall. Practicing good habits and ibadah continuously in Ramadan will become a habit that we can inshaAllah continue throughout the year. A side note, and this isn’t to take away from the blessed month of Ramadan, we should all remember that there is always room for improvement and opportunities to be the best person all year round. We should always try our best and try to become a better person. There is knowledge and wisdom in each and every little thing around us, it is up to us to take the time out to notice and appreciate it. I leave you with those quote by Imam al Ghazali, “Truly when a man loves a thing, he repeatedly mentions it, and when he repeatedly mentions a thing, even if that may be burdensome, he loves it.” Ghazali.

Keep the entire Ummah in your du’as.
O Allah, You are the Forgiver, You love to forgive, so forgive us.
Allahumma sali ala sayyidina muhammadin an-Nabbiyil ummiyi Wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salim.

Take care inshaAllah,

☮radf

Ramadan Reflections-Day 1

radf — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 16:33:49 +0000

I decided to have a reflection about each day in Ramadan. It helps to write and reflect about everything, this will help me learn from my mistakes and cherish the good in life.

Day 1:

Bismillah. First day of Ramadan is already gone. The much anticipated month is here! When I was younger, I used to cry and would never be able to fast. I actually never knew what Ramadan was all about, if anything-my older brother and I thought it was a time where our parents would wake up in the middle of the night and have secret meetings and eat. Fasting used to be the hardest thing for me, but hamdulillah after understanding it more as I got older it came with ease. We should make sure that Ramadan isn’t just a time of starving our bodies. One of the main reasons I love Ramadan is the fact that I get to see everyone from my community come together<3 I really hate it when people say “Ramadan Muslims” or “Part time Muslims.” The truth is we all have our flaws, unless if you go to the masjid 5 times a day, perform Qiyaam throughout the year in the masjid, then I would like to ask you to please stop calling individuals this, it really hurts and is just uncalled for. Ramadan started on a Friday this year and what a beautiful Friday it was. Jum’ah had people out the door and praying in the parking lot, in the rain, subhanAllah. We started off on a Friday and it was raining, Allah literally showered us with His blessings. The days are long, but that just leaves more time for us to do good. The khateeb reminded us yesterday that Allah has locked up the Shaytaan during Ramadan to make it easier for us to do good. In Ramadan it is easier for us to do good, it’s easier for us to be in remembrance of Allah and to be inclined to do good. It’s easier to pick up the Qur’an and start reading continuously. It’s easier to pick up a book about the deen instead of reading a best selling novel. Most importantly, we feel a pull towards the masjid. Taraweeh is my favorite part of Ramadan, being the company of good simply fills your heart with a special joy that is indescribable. All the pain I’ve ever felt, all the sadness I’ve ever witnessed gets washed away as I hear the beautiful recitation of the Qur’an. The first day of Ramdan was actually a really hard day for me being hit with bad news, one right after another. My patience truly was tested, but hamdulillah, Allah is witht the broken hearted, and that makes things so much easier. Seeing familiar faces from the community brings happiness and joy. Seeing everyone squished to the point where I need my inhaler is something I wouldn’t trade no matter how uncomfortable it may be. A friend of mine even mentioned last night; ‘this is like a tradition, seeing each other each night for Salah.’ Yes it is, and what a blessing it is to be part of such an amazing tradition. Being in the company of good, being drawn towards the good, being in the house of Allah and feeling your feet swell up and forcing your eyes to be open, subhanAllah I am truly lucky, blessed, and undeserving of all this good that I am surrounded by! One thing we should remember throughout Ramadan, be thankful for everything! Each and every single thing in your life! It is Allah’s mercy that he has allowed us to do good and it is Allah’s generosity that He has chained up the Shaytaan to help us throughout this blessed month. A hadith that has helped me to stay focused in Ramadan, and actually throughout the year, is:
“Your love of something can blind and deafen [you].”

Keep the entire Ummah in your du’as.

O Allah, You are the Forgiver, You love to forgive, so forgive us.

Take care inshaAllah,

☮radf

What Do You Do?

radf — Tue, 17 Jul 2012 01:49:41 +0000

I can’t believe we’re so close to Ramadhan! I really am in shock. This summer so far has been beyond stressful but enjoyable. Summer just started and hamdulillah it has taught me so many lessons already. Last week I had the honor of being part of the MIST NY team as we made our journey to the Nationals Tournament. I can’t put into words the amount of love I have for MIST. It’s something that has filled a hole in my heart, something that makes me feel complete. Working day and night, literally, to put together a tournament for these kids is something that I never regret. Continuously working non stop during June to help them feel ready for the Nationals trip was a journey that I didn’t know what I was getting into, but looking back I am so thankful I for each stressful moment. Allah is the best of planners, that’s something I say all the time and something we hear, but it isn’t until we are living through life and we realize how truly amazing Allah is and how true this is. We are placed in situations that we don’t fully understand, and sometimes we may over react. It takes a lot to be able to sit down and remember to breathe. Reminding ourselves that Allah has a better plan for us makes it all easier.

MIST is something that honestly overwhelms me sometimes. It’s not an easy task and there is always something that needs to be done. However, MIST is a blessing that I am unworthy of having in my life. I really do sit down sometimes and think, how on Earth did I get so lucky to be part of something so amazing? Being surrounded by these amazing students, who are putting forth their best talents and trying their best for the sake of Allah is so amazing mashaAllah! Through MIST, I’ve met amazing people who are donating all their time and effort for the cause. They are all concerned about making sure the kids are happy and subhanAllah when you see these kids and their energy you simply become addicted to the cause!

I was never part of an MSA, and I didn’t always have Muslim friends growing up. It is through Allah’s mercy that after all these years I am now surrounded by such beautiful people. It is an incredibly humbling feeling to even be able to be associated with these competitors and with the amazing Organizers that I work with.

One of my favorite quotes is from Winston Churchill, “We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.” Volunteering is something that I did long before MIST. Everyone should try to Volunteer somewhere. Giving back to your community or a cause you feel strongly about will help give you a better outlook on life. Try it out and see how it makes you feel. You’ll meet great people, and I really mean this. The organizers that I have met from other regions and the organizers that I have had the honor of working with in this region amaze me each day. The competitors in my region easily put on the greatest smile on my face and they fill my heart with joy! I pray that these competitors will always have a love for one another, always strive to do their best in all that they do, always stay on the right path and that they continue to do good for the sake of Allah. Should they ever be tested by any trials, I pray that they will remember Allah in their times of difficulty and inshaAllah they will be rewarded for all their efforts in this world.

MIST, MIST NY, thank you for everything<3

Take care inshaAllah,

☮radf

Be Like al Habib

radf — Mon, 28 May 2012 19:12:19 +0000

Hamdulillah, got back from the ICNA 2012 Convention and Iman high is an understatement. Notes to come soon inshaAllah.

Take care inshaAllah,

☮radf

#silenceisbetrayal

radf — Wed, 23 May 2012 18:39:43 +0000

This is awesome, check it out:

Take care inshaAllah,

☮radf

Shake It Off

radf — Tue, 22 May 2012 18:58:07 +0000

Lately, I’ve been in this funk that I’ve been trying to shake off for quite some time. I know how to go on and try to keep a smile but sometimes, my emotions get the best of me and I feel it starting to affect me. It may be becuase I have high expectations of people. I assume the best in people, and even more than that. I always think that everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt, but sometimes, well more than often, it ends up hurting me. I don’t really know why it bothers me so much when things like this happen. When friends, or people I know end up hurting me the most, it continues to catch me off guard each and every time. At the same time, I’m a bit relieved that I actually have this response, it reminds me that I am still human and it reminds me that I really have no control over my life. Most importantly, I like to think of the idea that Allah hurts us, only to bring us closer to him. These past couple of weeks I’ve been getting hurt continuously by those who I love most but in the end it’s amazing how Allah continues to put a smile on my teary eyed face. I end up getting some random texts that make me feel better. Or I’ll call my grandparents who’s voices immediately make me feel happy and fill my heart with joy and love. Sometimes, I’ll get random beautiful acts of kindness either from total strangers or from random people in my life. When this happens, I am so close to crying, or I just break down and cry because of how stupid I’ve been acting. People come and go, but Allah is the one who will always be in my life, so why am I stressing and getting upset? Each time I’m upset, I have to legit fight out all the negative in my head with some good. I usually just need to alone so I can clear my mind. I’ve learned over the years that I’m no good talking to others about my feeling becuase when I get close to someone, someone else who I care about ends up hurting me. Hamdulillah though, I have amazing parents and brothers and even though I seem like an ungrateful child and terrible sister sometimes, I really do appreciate everything they do for me and I am so thankful for them. Often times, people try to escape reality, but why should I try to escape reality when the world around me is so beautiful? Yeah the world has some ugly in it, maybe a little too much ugly, but we can each add something to it to make it beautiful again. We can each search for that beauty to make our own lives happy.

So how do I get out of my funk? Well I kind of already confusingly talked about it before but one way is to distract myself. I’ve learned that sometimes, I just need to be in my funk for a while and if I have to be by myself it’s okay. There’s no point of forcing myself to go out with people to try to get happy, I really don’t mind being my myself. Reading, drawing, sketching, reflecting, making du’a and getting thoughts and feelings out on my sketchbook and writing them out helps. The best is to just think of something good in my life, to think of something that I am thankful for as the negative feelings come up. Hamdulillah, there are so many things to be happy and thankful for, no matter how hard we try, there’s no way we can run out of things to be thankful for. I’m not going to lie, it is hard to do these things sometimes when I’m really at the low point of my funk but I think the struggle is helpful because, well I think, that I’ve gotten better at it over the years. You know what they say, practice makes perfect and inshaAllah I’ll be able to spot my funks from a hundred miles away and avoid it entirely inshaAllah!

Just remember, Allah loves all of us. Don’t every thinkwhyyyy meee???? Because that will get you in a lot of trouble. As painful as it may be, just sit and reflect on your life and you will seeoh man, that’s why. And instead of feeling worse, just think subhanAllah look at all the good in my life, look at how merciful Allah is! Combat negative with positive, and force yourself to smile. Make lists of why you should smile, we all have things to be thankful for no matter how big or small. And subhanAllah the best part about this is it will become an awesome habit. Being a New Yorker, I know how crazy life can get, and honestly I love the chaos. It makes me realize how luck I am to have my Lord with me amongst this chaos, and the remembrance of Allah is what helps me be at ease.

I know I am no scholar, nor am I educated properly in Islam, but sometimes, just sometimes, it helps to tell others what helps you and hey maybe this will help just one other person in the world. Or maybe it wont, but you’ve made it this far in the post so maybe something in here interested you. Maybe you’re cracking a smile about now. No? No smile? How about now? No? psht, well then you’re hard to crack, breathe in and out and just smile, believe me it’ll make you feel better and it’s Sunnah! Can you say, winning? Yeah, totally winning!

Take care inshaAllah,

☮radf