Day 3: Like your last.

You know all the catch phrases, stupid songs, sayings etc… that talk about living it up and enjoying each moment as if it’s your last. I think it’s become an overly used catch phrase that no one really lives up to. I was cleaning my room when my mom brought a bunch of stuff that I basically refused to look at for about 2 weeks now. 10 days ago I got the worse phone call ever. My 11 year old brother was crying telling me they got in a car accident and they’re taking my mom away in an ambulance and he doesn’t know where my other brother is. My heart literally stopped beating for a moment and I had no idea how to react. Being at home, not knowing what was going on and hearing the fear in my little brothers voice wasn’t at all helpful. After a while, I got to talk to my mom and my other brother and found out that hamdulillah they were okay, nothing too severe but bruises and shock. I had to start calling tow trucks and my insurance to figure out what to do with my car. My car was apparently already towed and when I called the guy, he asked, ‘Oh, those people are alive?’ That was really crappy timing on his part. As I went to the hospital to go pick up my mom and brothers, I was really prepared for the worse the way the tow truck guy responded. Any broken limbs? Scratches? Cuts? Wheel chair? Allahu ‘Alam I just prepared for the worse. I finally got to the hospital my mom and brothers were with a dear family friend of our family who never left her side, not for one moment. To my surprise, they all looked fine, they said that they don’t feel pain yet but the doctor warned them that it’ll hit them later. That was probably the longest day of my life. During that time, I further found comfort in my faith, yeah I was a wreck because I can get emotional easily but all I could do was make du’a, pray, make du’a, pray and squeeze my tasbih. Allah further showed me who cares, who doesn’t and who just wants gossip. So how did all these memories come from a pile of stuff that my mom made me look through? Well there are 3 things that I love dearly that have been in my car since the first day I got it: my Qur’an, my du’a pack and my Allah chain. I remember when I got that chain. Back in high when I was…yeah… When I graduated high school I knew I wanted to change, I still wanted to be Fatoma Rad, but better. I knew that going to undergrad in a college where no one knew me would be something good. Hamdulillah I met amazing people in my 4 years of Undergrad through work, internships and juss bumming around at old west, I don’t regret one moment of undergrad, hamdulillah.
My first car died, it like literally died on Queens Main St and that was it. My Sentra was my second car and I loved it so much-no, it’s not weird to love a car, in fact it’s Sunnah to take care and name the things that we love and that are important to us. When I got my Sentra it was brand new, so it literally was my baby. Can’t really recite the Adhan in the ear of a car so next best thing: keep a Qur’an in it all the time. This Qur’an was with me throughout undergrad, and was with me every single trip I made no matter how long or short. This Qur’an was with me through the joys and tears that I had in undergrad. As I look at it now, I feel a sense of security, the security that I have felt all these years when I was in my car. When I found out that my car was a total loss, I didn’t cry, but when I saw it, I did cry. Yeah, it is a bit stupid crying over a car, but I didn’t cry because I am someone who is materialistic. I cried because of what my car meant to me. Majority of the time, at least 90% of the time, my car was taking me somewhere to get more knowledge. And you know what, majority of the time my car was taking me somewhere to learn more about the deen or it was taking me somewhere where I was working for the deen. My car was the MIST NY mule for about 2 years and like a trooper it made all those insane Costco trips. My car is full of amazing memories. From insane road trips with friends whom I love and adore, with family, with those who I love and cherish and it has been everywhere-seriously, all of Long Island, Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, Jersey, Connecticut, that little fatso saw it all! So is there a meaning to all this babble? Yes. I was a psycho when it came to my car. OCD to the max. Got it washed all the time, got its tired rotated on time, bought it new things when it was needed, oil changed it on time with synthetic oil only and even gave it accessories like tints, car starter and an alarm. It took me 4 years to add to the car, keep it in mint condition but in the end, it took the blink of an eye to destroy it. Death. We all know about it, and we all shall taste it, but are we ready for it? If you died right now, can you say you’re in a good place in life? Aside from good deeds and fulfilling the fard, are we ready? Have we made a mends with people who we have hurt, or at least made an effort to do so? Have we tried taking care of those who are less fortunate than us? Have we taught others what we know? Have we reached a hand out or offered our shoulder to someone who needs comfort or is having a bad day. Do we even carry ourselves in a happy manner and make sure we greet everyone with a smile? I know where I stand. You know where you stand. And Allah knows us better than we do. Lets all at least make the niyyah to try to become better. Forget about this might be your last Ramdan, this might be your last day, hour, or even minute, Allahu Alam. Yes we all must face death, we just have to prepare ourselves and remember that it is not of the Sunnah to sit and be scared of death. My teacher used to tell me that Islam isn’t about sitting in a corner by yourself yelling out ‘Allah! Allah!’-it used to make me laugh. But over the years I’ve come to understand it more and more. The way we interact with others, that’s Islam. The way we talk to others, that’s Islam. The way we make others feel, that’s Islam. Islam is a whole and complete religion. It is in every single thing we do, so lets prepare ourselves in all areas inshaAllah. Imam al Ghazali said it best; beautiful and simple: “My dear son…Live as long as you may, for verily you must die. Love whoever you wish, for one day you shall taste its separation. And do what you will, you will be rewarded accordingly.”

Keep the entire Ummah in your du’as.
O Allah, You are the Forgiver, You love to forgive, so forgive us.
Allahumma sali ala sayyidina muhammadin an-Nabbiyil ummiyi Wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salim.

Take care inshaAllah,

☮radf

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