21 Seconds to Teach Humanity

21 Seconds to Teach Humanity

Lisa M. Weinbaum

When I overheard my colleagues one day discussing teachers who don’t follow state mandates — singing the benefits of enforced curriculum mapping to ensure every teacher is on the same page, teaching the same topic, at the same time — I didn’t know they were talking about me. It wasn’t until a colleague later cautioned that I was not teaching the state standards and benchmarks that I realized I was the cause for their concern.

I’ll admit that my literature students probably don’t read what typical seventh-graders read, assuming there is such a thing as a “typical” seventh-grader.

We read about racial violence through Dudley Randall’s poem, “The Ballad of Birmingham,” written in response to the 1963 bombing that cut short the lives of four girls at the 16th Street Baptist Church. Through Billie Holiday’s haunting rendition of a lynching in “Strange Fruit,” we witness whites seizing souvenirs from black bodies swinging from trees, like crows snatching shiny trinkets for their nests. And we discover the dangers of homophobia in Warren J. Blumenfeld’s “Let Live and Let Love Defeat Hate,” an homage to 15-year-old Lawrence King, shot in the head while in his computer class at school. His crime? Being gay.

To be sure, I’ve memorized a multitude of New Mexico Language Arts Benchmarks. I understand it’s not enough for a teacher simply to say, “I read an early lyrical poem by William Butler Yeats with my third-graders and discovered that they loved it.” To quote Jonathan Kozol:
[Teachers] can’t just let children enjoy literature. They’ve got to manipulate it in some way. “I used William Butler Yeats to deliver English Language skill 265B…”
(from Shame of a Nation).

And so I do teach to the standards. Still, in my class, we delve into material that matters. Students often bring me pieces they’ve written, not for homework that was assigned, but because they want to write, and because they have something to contribute. And not only do they expect me to listen, they expect their classmates to listen as well.

I found myself, outside on a boiling and sweaty day, preoccupied by a cool, icy popsicle. The death of my Aunt Diane, killed by cancer, had weighed down my thoughts. The only cooling of my body was the popsicle. I was hot, and as a fire was raging inside, I could see no reason for my body not to collapse, riddled with questions and remarks. The words imprinted on my forehead were of what I had been called all day. Apparently it said, “Hello, I’m gay.” “I’m a fag!” my shirt read, “Please make fun of me!” As if the normal “Kick Me!” signs on our backs weren’t enough.
- from The Popsicle, by R.B.

My students did listen. As a result, many vowed they would stop calling others “gay,” “fag” and other slurs used in schools across the country.

In our school, bullying doesn’t consist of verbal abuse alone. For many, girls and boys alike, a favorite pastime was “playing 21″ in the restrooms. Encouraged by their peers, two children, often not equal in size or skill, would square off, then proceed to beat each other to a pulp, presumably for 21 seconds — although no one bothered carrying a stopwatch. After all, that annoying detail would only shorten the show.

Yet these bathroom brawls were no game. In early spring, while playing 21 in the restroom, a seventh-grade girl fell and hit her head on the sink. Most of her supposed friends left her on the floor, writhing from seizures caused by the blow to her skull. Two of the braver girls stayed behind. One of them dislodged the victim’s tongue from her throat as she began choking. An ambulance arrived. Thankfully the victim fully recovered, but not before her fever spiked to 107 degrees.

I could not, in good conscience, continue my lessons as if nothing had happened. True, the perpetrators were suspended. Rules were broken; consequences were paid. But this was not an isolated incident. It was a common practice, a contest they engaged in for bragging rights at lunch. The winner received respect; the loser, public humiliation.

In class, I asked my seventh-graders, “How many of you have ever participated in 21?” Approximately one-third raised their hands. When they saw my horror at their indifference to brutality, they protested, “But we’re still friends! It doesn’t mean anything! How can you judge us when you don’t know what we’re going through?”

It was a fair question, but this wasn’t about passing judgment. It was about keeping children safe. I could not allow this cruelty to continue.

So I revived Shirley Jackson’s classic story, “The Lottery,” a ghastly tale of a small-town ritual held annually where all residents — men, women, the elderly and children — stone a member of their own community to death. The victim might be one’s own mother; the murderers might be one’s own family members. It’s our tradition, the townspeople claim, the way things have always been.

We then watched the NBC television movie, The Lottery, an updated version of the original tale with a modern-day twist. I froze the scene just as the daughter began heaving a stone at her mother, her face contorted with hate.

“These people are twisted!” the students protested.

“How could they do such a thing, to their friends, to their loved ones?”

Sickened by the scene, they demanded to know if towns still continue this practice.

I quietly responded, that, yes, this practice continues to this day. In fact, it occurs right here in New Mexico, right here within our school.

Mouths gaping, my students fell silent.

I pointed at the vicious face on the television screen, still looming down on my students. “You see, when you’re in the bathroom playing 21, when you’re cheering on the violence, you act no different from them. You look no different from them. You are one of them!”

The students wrote in response to the story. Compiling their reactions, I asked those who had participated most recently in 21 for permission to include their names. They willingly agreed, recognizing their power to transform themselves and help their peers end the assaults within our school. Acknowledging their own culpability, the students turned in self-reflections that amazed me. They read their words aloud in class, sometimes followed by spontaneous bursts of applause:

I think that just as those in the story are brainwashed, so are we. The townspeople that do this lottery see no harm for what it is, and it is murder. I can see what these townspeople are doing is wrong and crazy. Then again, we aren’t angels ourselves. They can see what I do is wrong and crazy, even though to me it is how I live. Just as they close their eyes to not see the wrong in what they are doing, I do the same. We are all brainwashed in our own ways. — Z.G.

Our school and The Lottery aren’t much different. Like 21 at school, you may not throw stones, but you throw punches that are stones, just like The Lottery. When you see friends fight, it not only hurts them, but you. It can kill you, doing this 21, but I don’t mean physically, I mean emotionally, mentally. I admit I have watched friends fight and did NOTHING. — G.S.

It is amazing how people can turn against people that they love. The people in the story are blinded. They don’t or they can’t or they just choose not to actually see what they are doing to other people. Honestly, I’ve been in a fight before and now people ask me if I regret it. And I always say, “No. I don’t regret it.” What I like to say is there are no regrets in life, just lessons. I don’t regret what I did but I’ve learned my lesson. I don’t want to do it ever again because then I, or whoever is fighting, is turning into that angry mob. When people fight it’s like we are the angry mob because we’re watching and we’re not doing anything about it. — S.B.

For the rest of the school year, traditionally a time when disruptive behavior escalates, our seventh-graders ceased the bathroom brawls. Some might say it was merely coincidental. I know my students would disagree.

Some may be unsettled by what we read in class, but as a principal once stated when discussing the Holocaust, “turning ours heads from it doesn’t make it go away.” And so I won’t turn my students away from stories that matter. And I won’t allow students to turn away from each other, either. Educators can teach to mandated standards and benchmarks and still teach the ultimate standard, one of human dignity.

Lisa M. Weinbaum teaches seventh-grade literature in southern New Mexico. This is her 18th year of teaching and her second article with Teaching Tolerance.

Source: Teaching Tolerance

“You’re Sitting In a Chair, In the Sky!”

A friend of mine posted this on facebook, its pretty funny watch it if you have a moment to waste:

Also, my appologiesfor my blog. It seems to be not functioning properly. I have no idea what’s wrong with it, maybe it’s going crazy because my thoughts are all over the place, khayr. InshaAllah I’ll think of something or maybe it’ll juss fix itself inshaAllah-which is what I’m hoping for.

Take care inshaAllah-midterms are here and my brain is fried. So please du’as for me and everyone else who is going through the crazy test taking times.

-radf

Allahumma sali ala sayyidina muhammadin an-Nabbiyil ummiyi Wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salim.

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In Turnabout, Children Take Caregiver Role

I can’t really explain it, but this article juss touched my heart. I think these are one of the most beautiful group of children out there. Respect for parents in Islam is juss so high that I can not even get into it-maybe soon inshaAllah I’ll put a post up about it. For now read the article, it’s beautiful, if not read then go to the link below and watch the video.

In Turnabout, Children Take Caregiver Role

By PAM BELLUCK

Published: February 22, 2009

LANTANA, Fla. — Partly paralyzed, with diabetes and colitis, Linda Lent needs extensive care at home.

But with her husband working long hours at a bowling alley, Ms. Lent, 47, relies on a caregiver who travels by school bus toting a homework-filled backpack: her 13-year-old daughter, Annmarie.

Annmarie injects migraine medicine, dispenses pills, takes blood from her mother’s finger for tests and responds to seizures — responsibilities she has at times found overwhelming.

At 11, she said, she felt “fed up,” thinking: “There’s no law says I have to take care of her. Why should I have to do it? Other kids, they could go out and play with friends.”

Across the country, children are providing care for sick parents or grandparents — lifting frail bodies off beds or toilets, managing medication, washing, feeding, dressing, talking with doctors. Schools, social service agencies and health providers are often unaware of those responsibilities because families members may be too embarrassed, or stoic.

Some children develop maturity and self-esteem. But others grow anxious, depressed or angry, sacrifice social and extracurricular activities and miss — or quit — school.

“Our society thinks of children as being taken care of; it doesn’t think of children as taking care of anybody,” said Carol Levine, director of families and health care at United Hospital Fund, a health services organization that studied child caregivers.

“Kids who do it well gain confidence,” Ms. Levine said, but “they may be resentful, not do as well in school and feel limited because their role is to be the caregiver.”

Health organizations are increasingly “realizing the extent of what children are doing,” said Nancy Law, an executive vice president of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. “Everything from children who become overly responsible” to “the kid who totally rebels and gets into trouble.”

“This is an issue that’s growing,” she said.

A 2005 nationwide study suggested that about 3 percent of households with children ages 8 to 18 included child caregivers. Experts say they expect the numbers to grow as chronically ill patients leave hospitals sooner and live longer, the recession compels patients to forgo paid help and veterans need home care.

Recently, programs have been formed to help children find support. Several Florida schools now have classes and meetings regarding caregiving.

Other countries do more. In Britain and Australia, the census counts child caregivers, and many of them have rights to participate in patient-care discussions and to ask agencies for help or compensation.

Hundreds of programs help them, said Saul Becker, a sociology professor at the University of Nottingham. “It’s such a big issue.”

Experts say that in the United States, the issue is often hidden.

“It is embarrassing for grownups to admit they’re so helpless that a child is caring for them,” said Kim Shifren, a psychology professor at Towson University, who studies child caregivers and was one herself.

Ms. Levine said children worried that “friends won’t understand and if some outsider sees they’re doing all this stuff there may be problems for the family.”

Michael Anderson II, 12, of Boynton Beach, Fla., said, “I don’t really talk to people about it.” His mother, Iris Santiago, 43, is legally blind, anemic and has depression and hernias. Michael gives B12 injections, helps with medicine and guides her when she walks — “my seeing-eye boy,” she calls him.

Some, like Alyssa Morano, 12, of Lantana, face recalcitrant patients.

Alyssa’s grandmother, Willene Black, 59, who adopted Alyssa and her brother, sometimes skips medication for her diabetes, angina, anxiety and pain from disabling injuries.

“If I find any in the garbage, I take it out,” said Alyssa, who shares her grandmother’s room and has even helped her put on underwear. “She lays down all the time. I can tell she’s getting kind of weaker every day.”

Ms. Black, who cannot walk far or sit up long, said, “I know my limits.” But she says Alyssa tells her, “ ‘Go to your doctor, Grandma, you’re going to die.’ ” And when visiting the doctor, Ms. Black said, “When I say an answer she don’t like, like he will ask me are you doing exercise, she will say, ‘No you’re not.’ ”

Programs for child caregivers face challenges because parents may fear that “you’re taking away their role as a parent” or that protective service agencies will be called, said Gail Hunt, president of the National Alliance for Caregiving.

Ms. Levine said that rather than a response of “Oh, take the child out of the home,” a program’s priority should be “making the responsibilities appropriate.”

Many programs simply offer children a break from their responsibilities.

The Caregiving Youth Project in Florida offers the most comprehensive approach, holding weekend camps to give children breaks and teach them caregiving skills. It counsels families and conducts classes and meetings in schools.

“It hasn’t been something teachers looked at, but some of the kids end up acting out at school,” said the director, Connie Siskowski.

Or dropping out, like Maryangellis Rodriguez, of Boynton Beach, who quit school at 16 to care for her mother, who has multiple sclerosis. “I just did it ’cause that’s my mom,” she said.

Ann Faraone, director of student intervention for the Palm Beach School District, says the project helps scores of students whose teachers had been unaware of their caregiver status.

“Families don’t come forward,” Ms. Faraone said. “Now, school personnel are better equipped to deal with these children.”

Experts say many child caregivers are from single-parent, low-income families, including some from foreign cultures accustomed to such roles. Others are from middle-income families whose insurance does not cover home care.

Christina Powell’s family left a four-bedroom house in Virginia in 2007 for an apartment in Boca Raton, Fla., where her grandfather, Guy French, 78, struggled with dementia and bladder cancer. Her mother’s job at a yacht uniform company starts early, so Christina, 13, gives medicine, changes sheets and dresses her grandfather for chemotherapy.

Initially, he was continually drunk, went naked and urinated everywhere, “like a sprinkler system,” Christina said. His chain-smoking aggravated Christina’s asthma. He was also often “really angry,” saying that “he didn’t like me,” she said. “That made me depressed. I was like, ‘I’m the one who takes care of you.’ ”

Her mother, Florence French, 44, moved them out, but after Mr. French broke his hip, he joined them in their new home.

Christina gave him her bed, now in their living room alongside a commode, and slept on chairs for a while.

Her grandfather refused adult day care and balks at Medicaid-financed home visits. Christina, a good student who is usually upbeat, said that for months she felt, “ ‘I hate my life.’ ”

Eventually, Ms. French stemmed the drinking, restricted the smoking and put her father in diapers. “It’s a hard experience, but it’s good for them to see what family means,” said Ms. French, who is planning a move to a bigger house. In their Haitian culture, she said, “We don’t put our parents in nursing homes. And I know if it’s too much for her she’ll tell me.”

The Caregiving Youth Project visited, telling Christina, “ ‘You’re doing something good,’ ” she said. “I’m happier now.”

Karen Harwood, the project’s care coordinator, said, “We can’t change the situation for a lot of kids, but we can help them through it.”

A Caregiving Youth Project weekend camp gave Michael Anderson a chance to “get away from my mother so I can be with myself and my friends,” he said.

Michael is so conscientious that he takes a premedical class at school. Sometimes Ms. Santiago, his mother, calls school with a code word so he knows she is O.K. She said she worried when Michael said that “he didn’t want to go away to college or leave.”

“I don’t want him to think he was born to take care of me,” she added.

At 11, Annmarie Lent said, she felt “depressed” and “under pressure.” Classmates taunted her, saying, “ ‘Your mom’s crippled.’ ”

Once, she said, when she was reluctant to attend school, her parents got the police to “bring me to school in handcuffs — in my Tinkerbell pajamas.”

Ultimately, she “got really aggressive,” her mother said. “She threw a cup and hit me in the head, then she smashed me across the face.”

Another time, Ms. Lent said, Annmarie “took my cane away and started punching me” and beat her mother with beads, yelling,“ ‘You took my life away from me,’ that it was all my fault for becoming disabled. I was screaming. I didn’t want to die at the hands of my 11-, almost 12-year-old.”

Three times, Ms. Lent said, she reluctantly had Annmarie arrested. Charged with assaulting a disabled person, Annmarie wrote, “Dear Mom, I’m so sorry for hitting you.” She spent time in detention, faced the possibility of foster care and was given a diagnosis of bipolar and attention deficit hyperactivity disorders.

In time, things improved. The Caregiving Youth Project helped her get counseling, peers and letters of commendation from school and elected officials. “Sometimes I feel guilty about putting the responsibility on her,” Ms. Lent said, but “we have a very good relationship now.” Annmarie says she realizes her mother “goes through more pain than anybody. I think she’s special for that.”

Source: The New York Times

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Gaza

I found this on MR’s website. You should watch it, it’s very short and very powerful:

The end message reads: “For some of us, pain never stops. You can stop it.”

Take care inshaAllah, and du’as please.

-radf

Allahumma sali ala sayyidina muhammadin an-Nabbiyil ummiyi Wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salim.

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Are You A Good a Friend?

Would you do this for a friend? haha I’m not sure if I would but watch this video its mad funny, we all need some humor to help us get through:

25 Things!!!!!!

I thoughts this was pretty funny watch it if you have nothing better to do, it’s called the 25 Things I Hate About Facebook:

Old Westbury Students Protest TAP Cuts

Old Westbury Students Protest TAP Cuts, Tuition Increase

BY KATIE SERIGNESE

The chant rang out in the Campus Center at SUNY Old Westbury.

“Don’t cut TAP! Don’t cut TAP!” shouted about two dozen students rallying against Gov. Paterson’s proposed cut of $47 million to the Tuition Assistance Program, and a $620 annual tuition hike.

“Education should be top priority,” said Stanley Fritz, 22, a senior from Brooklyn and the student government association president. Fritz said he understood the necessity of a tuition raise, but said cutting need-based TAP grants “would be crippling to the educational society” and would punish students and those who want to better themselves.

Sebastian Bullock, 18, from Queens, the higher education project leader for the college’s chapter of the New York Public Interest Reseach Group and a freshman studying psychology, begged the governor “to give us a chance and let us learn.” He added, “TAP was the one thing that gave me the chance to get a higher education and if it gets cut, I probably won’t be able to go to school.”

Freshman J.R. Blackwoods, 18, from Rockland, who is studying business and media communications, said “even a little bit counts,” adding that his father had just gotten laid off. Blackwoods said is looking for a job so he can get through the upcoming weeks without burdening his parents by asking them for money for laundry and other living expenses.

Senior Dagersy Jaquez, 21, a psychology major from Brooklyn, said she receives “a lot of financial aid” and a cut in TAP funds would mean she would have to take out more loans, which she said are difficult to pay back. “If TAP is cut, it’s going to affect enrollment in college — even mine.”

Aside from student testimonials and pleas to the governor, Old Westbury students also signed about 500 Valentines begging the governor to “Have a heart. Don’t cut TAP!” Student leaders also plan to send letters to State Sen. Carl Marcellino (R-Syosset) and Assemb. Rob Walker (R-Hicksville).

N’Neka Wilson, NYPIRG project coordinator, said that other means need to be found to fix the state deficit. “I feel there are a lot of things to be addressed and if there are five issues, education should be number one.”

Source: Chicago Tribune

Breathe

Times are rough, I get it.

All we can do is take it all in slowly, make du’a for ourselves and everyone else, keep Allah in our thoughts, send salwat to the Prophet Muhammed (peace and blessings be upon him) and remember that a little kindness can go a long way-so whenever you have the chance do something nice,do it, and never think that it may be too small.

Most of all when you’re stressed out juss remember to breathe- as my old high school physics teacher used to always tell us, “Take a step back, breathe, and then go back in. Besides that’s a whole lot easier than holding your breath.” [Mr. Gregory Guido] So remember the weight of the world is not on your shoulders, yes times are rough, very rough, but life does go on and inshaAllah we will all get through it. So no matter what you may be battling right now, or  begining to start something, juss remember that we are all going through one thing or another and we should at the very least be kind towards one another

So sit up straight, stand a little taller [no, I am not encouraging pride] and don’t walk as the whole world is on your back, besides slouching gives bad posture-I should know I have terrible posture :/

If you’re still feeling stressed look at the picture below, close your eyes for 5 minutes and juss don’t think of anything at all. Reflect on the beauty of the image, how beautiful the colors are, how amazing the mountains are, the water, and SubhanAllah juss al of it!  SubhanAllah.

Take care inshaAllah and du’as please.

-radf

Allahumma sali ala sayyidina muhammadin an-Nabbiyil ummiyi Wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salim.

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The War in El Atatra

I found this on the New York Times today, the images are very touching. You can’t really copy and past/copy and save them-at least I didn’t figure out how to, if you do let me know. But for now go to the link and look at the images:

http://www.nytimes.com/packages/html/world/middleeast/20090203-atatra-slide-show/index.html?ref=world

Take care inshaAllah and du’as please.

-radf

Allahumma sali ala sayyidina muhammadin an-Nabbiyil ummiyi Wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salim.

Confused? Didn’t understand something? Click here!

Kindergarten

All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand box at nursery school.

These are the things I learned. Share everything. Play fair. Don’t hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don’t take things that aren’t yours. Say you are sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are food for you. Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some and draw some and paint and sing and dance and play and work everyday.

Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out in the world, watch for traffic, hold hands, and stick together. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the plastic cup? The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why. We are like that.

And then remember that book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: LOOK! Everything you need to know is there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation, ecology, and politics and the sane living.

Think of what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about 3 o’clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put thing back where we found them and clean up our own messes. And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

-by Robert Fulghum

Action

Ninth Counsel

Action

My dear beloved son…

Knowledge without action is insanity, and action without knowledge is vanity. Know that knowledge today will not distance you from sins, nor bring you into obedience, nor distance you from the fire of Hell tomorrow. If you do not act today and do not derive lessons from your past days, you will say on the Last Day: “Return us to our previous life and we will do good deeds,” and it will be said to you: “O fool, it is from there that you have come.”

Taken from Imam Abu Hamid Al-Ghazali’s “Dear Beloved Son.”

Take care inshaAllah and please keep the entire Ummah in your du’as.

-radf

Allahumma sali ala sayyidina muhammadin an-Nabbiyil ummiyi Wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salim.

Confused? Didn’t understand something? Click here!