How to Improve

Personally speaking I continue to get more and more disappointed in myself as I think about life, the actions that I am taking in life, what I should be doing with my life, what I am not, all of these things I find myself thinking about and trying to figure out how to improve myself. It makes me wonder, is it just human nature to try to brush it off and try to live by the “lets enjoy life” motto and just have a good time all the time and then have those sluggish moments in life when we sit and think about serious things because we are forced to because of the hurtful events that are taking place around us. Not that having a good time, or enjoying life is a bad thing, but too much of it doesn’t do us all any good does it? I mean when do we sit down and think “hm How is this going to benefit my Akhirah?” I mean if you do then SubhanAllah please teach me your ways and help me out. I mean personally I try to every now and then think about what I am doing to help my Akhirah, and then sometimes I try to forget about it.

But I guess since lately I’ve been trying to teach my self to try to control my emotions and I ahve been trying ot get in the habit of remember that everything that I do has an effect, good or bad, will impact my future, and remembering that everything really does happen for a reason. (Even though at times we may not know what that reason may be but we have to learn how to wait it out.) I think by keeping that little fact tucked away in the back of my head all the time helps me go on, helps prevent me from having those breakdowns, and with help from my parents and older brother giving me a slap on the face with the correct use of words-this all helps me get through each day. It was the other day that my brother told me that I shouldn’t get upset when things are going bad, or if it seems that “life is being unfair” because it seems that everything is going wrong; we should think about the Ambiya and what they have gone through and our Rabb puts the ones he loves through difficulty. After putting some thought into this statement, it really just put a smile on my face and a little tear in my eye because of how I was being so stupid and how much sense it made. I was sitting and getting upset over colleges and silly little things in life because they weren’t working out the way I wanted them to. I’ve learned that at times like these we must try to gain control of our emotions and look at how fortunate we are because no matter what there’s always someone who lacks something that you have and we all just have to learn how to be thankful for what has been placed before us and say Hamdulillah Of course, no one is perfect and we all have place for improvement, the important part is that we actually do take that chance and try to improve ourselves. I am trying to change myself for the better and make du’a that whatever changes I have made has beautified my characteristics in a way that resembles the characteristics that my Rabb would be happy with me.