♥thanks♥

I guess you never really realize how thankful you have to be for each and every little thing until you are truly tested. Well December 15th, 2006 I was tested and everyone at ICLI witnessed it and helped me out through each step. It was around the first two rakah’s of Isha salah and I just couldn’t breathe and then I juss passed out, AllahuAlam what the reason was because the doctors didn’t even figure out why; which says quite a lot doesn’t it? Hamdulillah I am fine now , just a little shaky and weak; but the memories will forever be with me and the experience has changed me. I always knew I didn’t have any control over my body but then last night I had absolutely NO control and believe me that is possibly one of the most scariest feelings in the world. I couldn’t open my eyes, I can’t even remember what exactly happened for the moments that I was knocked out, and then when I finally opened my eyes I could barely hear and the worst was not being able to speak. The little things in life that we think of it as something that we all juss have; for example like our 5 senses, thinking that everyone has them but not taking into consideration those don’t. Afterwards I realized how lucky I am, how lucky I am for being ale to speak, having the ability to hear, smell, feel, and juss knowing how to respond.

As soon as the jamah was over, actually a bit before that, the masjid was full of cops, and then soon after the ambulance. the whole masjid came to see what was going on, out of curiosity, as well as to help. It made me fall in love with my Muslim community so much more, everyone in the Masjid was so helpful. I’ve been in other emergencies but this one everyone was there for you and I saw how they all put aside there differences and worked together to help out someone in need. Thank You to everyone who was there and helped me out.

It was definitely in the hospital when I began to think about everything, I mean everything. Looking at my surroundings and what was going on around me, seeing people who were in conditions a million times worst than me; everything began flowing through my head. I couldn’t help but to think what would happen if I died. Would I be prepared to leave this world? What if there was someone that is angry or upset with me and if they had not forgiven me? What if I owed someone money or something, what if I borrowed something from someone? I couldn’t help but to think what would happen, all of these things were flowing through my head. I wouldn’t be able to be at my high school graduation, I wouldn’t witness my older brothers gradation form college, i wouldn’t be bale to witness either one of my little brothers’ graduation from high school, not even from middle school; I wouldn’t be able to witness anything at all, NOTHING. I would simply be gone from this world and leave everything behind. I wouldn’t be able to take my new laptop the my grave, or my cell phone, I wouldn’t be bale to visit my friends or my parents or brothers, that’s it, it would all be over. Have you ever stopped for a moment and thought about death? I guess I may have at moments, but no to the depth or extent of this much. I never realized how much I have, how much I should be thankful for. And ironically through out the whole time I had Zain Bhikha’s song, Give Thanks stuck in my head.

Events like this make you realize who is really there for you when you really need them the most, who truly cares about you. And then you realize who are those who are fake and are juss there in your life.

It also made me realize the greatness of a mother. The look on my mother’s face made me feel even worst, because even though I was the one who was in pain, she was teh one who was feling even more pain because of me. I love my mother so much and I would never be able to go on without her if she was not there. You see why respect and love for mother’s is so important in Islam in both the Quraan and in Hadiths. Like teh Hadith,“A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim).”

♥Thank you to all of my friends who have left me the millions of voice mails and all of the messages, I can’t even say how much I appreciate it all and how much I love you all and it definitely helped me get through it all, Jazakallah khairun for all of the help and I will keep you all in my du’as always and please keep me in your du’as. Again thank you all!!!!!!