Deuces Irene

Al-hamdulillah, Hurricane Irene is over! I haven’t had power for more than 24 hours now but hamdulillah my family and I are safe.

It’s amazing to see the whole process of this whole storm. It was nice to see how people listened to what was happening and honestly I do have to say everything was pretty organized. The panic that took over the people was expected and not that bad. The supermarkets were pretty chaotic; shelves were bare, no water left and the trucks kept on dropping off more and more cases of water and people kept on grabbing everything in sight. During the storm, everyone was in du’a-prayers. No matter what faith you are or don’t claim to be a part of, everyone was preparing for the worse and praying/hoping for the best. I think we were all united in that night and hoping for the best. Al hamdulillah it passed and wasn’t as bad as we all thought it was going to be. The morning after, trees and debris were all over the place, seriously all over the place, my car looked like a giant bush with all the twigs and leaves etc… all over it.

All of it was actually during an amazing time, the last nights of Ramadhaan, the nights that we are supposed to be in constant remembrance of Allah, time that we should be asking Allah for help, guidance, etc… In a way it shows us how Allah always opens up the doors for us, its humbling how Allah puts us in a position in which we are inclined to go to him, in a position in which we are forced to ask, make du’a and be in constant dhikr.

May Allah accept our ibadah for the month, may Allah help us keep whatever good habits we have formed in the month and continue with throughout the year. May Allah accept the du’as we have made and fulfill all the good that we desire in our hearts. May Allah increase all that is good for us and always surround us in good company. May Allah always and forever be present in our lives, help us in making the right decisions and act as a reminder that we are never alone;  he is the one that will always be there for us no matter what the situation may be! May Allah grant us all the highest ranks of jannah, reward our parents for all that they do for us. And may Allah help all those who are going through hardships throughout the world, reward them for all the suffering and oppression in places like Afghanistan, Somalia, Syria-anywhere in the world wherever that person may be, may Allah make it easy on him/her.

Please continue to keep me and my family in your du’as inshaAllah.

Take care, speak up and be safe.

☮radf

What is “Manly”?

This is a really good read, please take the time out to read it:

Defining Manhood: The Facade of Being “Hard”

Yasmin Mogahed | January 18, 2011 8:14 pm

Last week my sister called.  She has been studying abroad since summer began, so naturally I was thrilled to hear from her.  After hearing how she was, I asked about her new home.  With her living in a Muslim country, I felt assured that everything would be fine.  For that reason, what she described next was a complete shock.  She began to describe a place where a girl can hardly leave her house without being verbally harassed by men walking by.  She said that the catcalling was no longer the exception; it had become the rule. Then she told me about a Muslim girl she knew.  The girl was riding in a taxi and when she arrived at her stop, she handed the driver his money.  In many of these countries there are no strict meters, and since the fare is somewhat arbitrary, the driver became angry.  Eventually the altercation escalated to such a degree that the driver grabbed the girl by the shoulders and began to shake her.  At this, the girl became angry and insulted the driver.  The driver then punched the young woman in the face.

At this point, I was extremely disturbed.  But it was what my sister said next that was most devastating.  Nearby, there was a group of men who saw what was happening, and rushed to the scene.  Naturally they came to help the girl.

No.  They stood and watched.

It was at this point in the story that I began to wonder.  Suddenly I found myself questioning every definition of masculinity I had ever believed in.  I wondered how a man — not one, but many — can stand and watch a woman be abused, and do absolutely nothing about it.  It made me question what ideals define what it means to be a man in today’s society.  Had the definition of masculinity become so distorted as to be reduced to just unbridled sex drive?  Had the image of the ‘knight in shining armor’ really been replaced by visions of macho, catcalling boys in the street?

Most of all, it got me thinking about what it means to be a Muslim man today.  I wondered if our dominate definitions as Muslims are really what they should be.  Today, a man is expected to be stoic, unemotional, inexpressive, tough, and unbending.  Physical aggression is glorified and emotional expressiveness ridiculed. I then decided to examine the epitome of what it means to be a man.  I decided to look at the Prophet ﷺ.

One of the most common definitions of manhood today is the lack of emotional expressiveness.  It is almost universally believed that to cry is ‘unmanly’ and weak.  And yet the Prophet ﷺ described it very differently.  When the Prophet ﷺ was handed his daughter’s son who was dying, his eyes flooded with tears. His companion Sa`d then told him, “What is this, Prophet of God?” He ﷺ said, “This is a mercy that the Almighty has made in the hearts of His servants. And surely God has mercy to the merciful ones among His servants.” [Bukhari]

But today, a man is not only expected to hide feelings of sadness, he is taught early on that even other emotions are not to be expressed.  During the time of the Prophet ﷺ, there were some men who believed the same.  Once while a villager was present, Prophet Muhammad ﷺ kissed his grandsons on the forehead.  At that, the villager said with surprise, “I have ten children.  I have never kissed any of them!” Prophet Muhammad ﷺ looked at him and said, “He who does not have mercy will not have mercy upon him.” [Bukhari] In fact, with regards to showing affection, the Prophet ﷺ was very clear.  He said: “If a man loves his brother in faith, he should tell him that he loves him.”[Abu Dawud]

The Prophet ﷺ used to also show a great deal of affection towards his wives.  Aisha reported that the Prophet ﷺwould only enjoy his meals when she would sit next to him.  They would drink from one cup and he would watch where Aisha would place her lips on the cup so that he could place his lips on the exact position.  He would eat from a bone after she would eat from it, placing his mouth where she had eaten. [Muslim]

The Prophet ﷺ used to also help around the house, contrary to another widely held myth of masculinity.  Aisha reported, “The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ used to stitch his clothes, milk the goats and help in the chores inside the house.” [Bukhari & Muslim]

But, perhaps one of the most common myths of what a man should be is the idea that a man should be ‘tough.’  Gentleness is widely considered only a feminine trait.  And yet the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: “Allah is gentle and loves gentleness. He gives for gentleness what He does not give for harshness, nor for anything else.” [Muslim] In another hadith, he says, “He who is deprived of gentleness is deprived of good.” [Muslim]

And yet so much of that gentleness has been lost from our modern definition of masculinity.  It is frightening when a boy can consider it manly to sexually harass a woman on the street, but consider it no question of his manhood to stand and watch while a girl is being hit.  It makes you wonder if maybe our image of what is ‘manly’ in fact resembles a Hollywood gangster more than it does our beloved Prophet.

Source: SuhaibWebb.com

Trying to Achieve the Unachievable

Body image is something that many people take very seriously but this is something interesting that’s worth watching. Be happy with who you are, try to achieve a good and healthy life style and that is more than enough.

Smile you’re beautiful the way you are and stop comparing yourself.

Take care, speak up and be safe.

☮radf

Forbid Evil&Encourage Good

Anas relates that, “We asked the Prophet ﷺ, ‘O Messenger of Allah ﷺ, shouldn’t we refrain from calling others to goodness if we don’t practice all good things ourselves, and shouldn’t we refrain from forbidding wrong things until we ourselves have abstained from all the bad?’ ‘No,’ he replied, ‘You should call others to goodness even if you don’t do all good, and you should forbid bad things even if you don’t abstain from all of them yourselves.’” (Al-Tabarani)

“…all of us Muslims were convicted of false crime.”

I thought this was made beautifully.

Day 13 of Ramadhaan, it’s going so rapidly subhanAllah. Please keep myself and my family in your du’as.

Take care, speak up and be safe.

☮radf

Feed Your Soul

“In ramadan we starve our body but feed our soul.” -Yasmin Mogahed

Take care, speak up and be safe.

☮radf

May This Touch Your Heart

Two Words

Maryam Amir-Ebrahimi | August 5, 2011 5:00 am

He had never prayed two rak`ah (units of prayer) in his adult life. Born and raised in Egypt, he had continuously heard the athan (call to prayer) and the iqama (second call to prayer) rolling through the streets, calling the believers to prayer, but he had never voluntarily accepted the call. This included refusing to pray at the masjidon the first floor of the apartment building in which he lived; he passed by it day and night, on his way to work, on his way to spend hours at the local Hookah Café with his friends, and on his way home to his wife and children, only to start the routine of neglecting his prayers again the following day.On one Friday, he was suddenly hit by a novel idea. “Why don’t I just try Friday prayer today? Just to see what it’s like? I’ll just try it,” the man thought. He came in late to the masjid; the Khatib (speaker) was already speaking. As the man was looking for a place to sit, he heard the words of the Khatib, “The Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) has told us:

كلمتان خفيفتان على اللسان ، ثقيلتان في الميزان، حبيبتان إلى الرحمن: سبحان الله وبحمده، سبحان الله العظيم

“Two words are light on the tongue, heavy in the balance, beloved to the Merciful: ‘Glory be to Allah and by His praise. Glory be to Allah, the Immense.’” (Bukhari)

The man, preoccupied with having just entered and finding a place to sit, only heard a few of the Khatib’s words. He sat, perplexed, turning the fragmented words over and over in his mind, “Kalimatan (two words)… habibatan (both beloved)… lil-Rahman (to The Merciful)… Subhan Allahi wa bihamdi (Glory be to Allah and by His praise)… Subhan Allah il-`atheem (Glory be to Allah, the Immense).” He had lost complete focus on the rest of the khutbah (sermon), overtaken by these words he had heard in passing, working hard to make sense of what the words could possibly mean.

After the prayer, he approached the Khatib directly. “Is all what you’ve said in the khutbah today true?” he questioned. Surprised, the Khatib responded, “I’ve said quite a bit in the khutbah today. To what specifically are you referring?” The man replied, “You said some words… Kalimatan… habibatan… lil-Rahman… Subhan Allahi wa bi hamdih, subhan Allah il-`atheem.”

The Khatib smiled in recognition. “Yes, those are in fact from a blessed hadith (narration) from The Truthful himself ﷺ. He told us:

كلمتان خفيفتان على اللسان ، ثقيلتان في الميزان، حبيبتان إلى الرحمن: سبحان الله وبحمده، سبحان الله العظيم

“Two words are light on the tongue, heavy in the balance, beloved to the Merciful: ‘Glory be to Allah and by His praise. Glory be to Allah, the Immense.’”

The man stood, overwhelmed, awestruck, in a daze. The words had penetrated through his heart and embraced his soul. Captivated, he continued to repeat the hadith of the Prophet ﷺ over and over to himself:

كلمتان خفيفتان على اللسان ، ثقيلتان في الميزان، حبيبتان إلى الرحمن: سبحان الله وبحمده، سبحان الله العظيم

“Two words are light on the tongue, heavy in the balance, beloved to the Merciful: ‘Glory be to Allah and by His praise. Glory be to Allah, the Immense.’”

He walked out of the masjid in a trance and left for his home. Upon entering, he gathered his wife and children. “Have you heard,” he began to tell them, “the words of the Prophet ﷺ? He has told us:

كلمتان خفيفتان على اللسان ، ثقيلتان في الميزان، حبيبتان إلى الرحمن: سبحان الله وبحمده، سبحان الله العظيم

“Two words are light on the tongue, heavy in the balance, beloved to the Merciful: ‘Glory be to Allah and by His praise. Glory be to Allah, the Immense.’”

From that moment, the man transformed. From his home, he would leave to work, from his work, he would go straight to the Masjid, and from the Masjid, he would immediately go back home to his wife and children. All the while, two words kept his lips moving and his tongue wet with remembrance, “Subhan Allahi wa bihamdi, Subhan Allah il-`atheem.”

Soon, his friends from the Hookah Café noticed his continued absence. They came to his apartment one day. “Where have you been?” they asked. “We haven’t seen you smokin’ hookah with us for a while.”

A beautiful, wistful look came over the man’s face. “Haven’t you heard?” He replied to his old crew from the café, “The Prophet ﷺ has told us:

كلمتان خفيفتان على اللسان ، ثقيلتان في الميزان، حبيبتان إلى الرحمن: سبحان الله وبحمده، سبحان الله العظيم

“Two words are light on the tongue, heavy in the balance, beloved to the Merciful: ‘Glory be to Allah and by His praise. Glory be to Allah, the Immense.’”

And this is how he spent his days; reminding his family, his friends, those in the masjid and those who passed by in the streets, about the beloved words to Allah, those heavy words on the scale, those words light on the tongue, “Subhan Allahi wa bihamdi, subhan Allah il-`atheem.” The man had gone from a person who never prayed, spent little time with family and frequented the house of hookah instead of the House of Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He), to a person who longed for Allah (swt), whose eyes were filled with tears, whose tongue, heart, and soul burned with the inscription:

كلمتان خفيفتان على اللسان ، ثقيلتان في الميزان، حبيبتان إلى الرحمن: سبحان الله وبحمده، سبحان الله العظيم

“Two words are light on the tongue, heavy in the balance, beloved to the Merciful: ‘Glory be to Allah and by His praise. Glory be to Allah, the Immense.’”

Soon, he fell ill. It had only been a few months since he had gone to the masjid, since he had first heard the beloved words of the Prophet ﷺ by the Khatib in a Jumu`ah (Friday) khutbah. He told his son to go and to ask the Masjid administration to call upon that very Khatib to come visit him in his illness.

When he was informed, the Khatib remembered the man immediately and rushed to his apartment. Upon being let in, he saw the man, sleeping in his bed, the doctor sitting at his side. The Khatib sat at the foot of the bed and waited for the man to awaken. Finally, the man stirred and he noticed, at the foot of his bed, the very Khatib who had related the beloved, noble words of the Prophet ﷺ.

The man looked at the Khatib. He then asked him, “Have you heard? The Prophet ﷺ has told us:

كلمتان خفيفتان على اللسان ، ثقيلتان في الميزان، حبيبتان إلى الرحمن: سبحان الله وبحمده، سبحان الله العظيم

“Two words are light on the tongue, heavy in the balance, beloved to the Merciful: ‘Glory be to Allah and by His praise. Glory be to Allah, the Immense.’”

With that, the man passed away.

The Khatib in this story is the teacher of my Arabic teacher. My Arabic teacher related this incident to me and continued to stress that it wasn’t a story from books of the past, it wasn’t a story coined to tug hearts, it was the true story of a man who was completely disconnected from Allah (swt), but to whom Allah (swt) gave a passing thought to enter the masjid, and who Allah (swt) blessed with hearing the words of the Prophet ﷺ at a time and in a way which truly impacted his soul and final actions in life.

My teacher then told me, “The Prophet ﷺ has said: ‘Convey from me, even if it’s just one ayah [verse]…’” (Bukhari).

We never know what word or action, done with a sincere intention, will truly be a means of impacting another person’s life to come back to Allah (swt).

Let’s stop judging people; let’s stop driving people out of mosques because “we” deem their dress, their swagger, their accessories, or language as something “unsuitable” to the House of God. Let’s stop assuming they’ll never be guided to “our righteous path” (since we’re so righteous, we guided our own selves, right?) and thus resolve to harsh words or disapproving stares. Perhaps those who “we” think are far from Allah (swt) will pass in a more honorable, beloved state to the One Who guides.

Let us be the first to cling to the beloved words to Allah (swt), “Subhan Allahi wa bihamdih, subhan Allah il-`atheem,” and let us warmly, sincerely and smile-fully be a means of helping ourselves and others come back to Allah (swt)—with His Power and Mercy—through relating the beautiful words of Allah (swt) and His Prophet ﷺ, through action and speech. We never know what small, miniscule act, may be a means of guidance for ourselves and another, and a means of possibly entering jannatul firdose al `alaa bi ghayri hisaab—The Highest Paradise, without any reckoning.

May Allah (swt) bless this man’s soul. Subhan Allah—if he had died like any other person who knows about the obligation of prayer and lazily defies praying, we would never know his story—he’d just be another person who passed away in another country, a person we may have never even known existed..

But perhaps because of his repentance and his sincere coming back to Allah (swt), Allah has blessed us with coming to know of him—so that his actions will continue to be rewarded even while he’s in his grave, every single time any one of us, because of his story, even across the world, remember to say, “Subhan Allahi wa bihamdi, subhan Allah il-`atheem.”

What will you do—so sincerely—that Allah (swt) will bless people with being transformed because of you, even after you’ve passed on?

Source: Suhaib Webb.com

Take care, speak up and be safe.

☮radf

Just Keep Growing

Change is probably the hardest thing we all have to learn how to deal with. As time goes on, changes come in our lives and we have to learn how to go on with these changes, and when we learn how to do this we begin to grow and learn more about ourselves. This morning I took a walk around my garden in the backyard with my father and it made me realize how much I have changed throughout the years. Things that I used to always tell myself that I “can’t” do I have accomplished. When I was in high school, I really was a lost person, hands down I had no idea what I was doing. For me, life was about either skipping class or doing the least amount of work just to get by when I was in class and going out to ‘lunch’ with friend for who knows how many periods. By the time I figured out that I can actually do something with my life, that I can actually be something if I truly wanted to, it was a bit late. That being sad, I wasn’t a terrible kid, or ‘bad’ kid, I just didn’t have a good sense of judgment or really care. College really was a new chapter in my life, it was a time where I was forced to break away from my normal crowd of friends, I was placed in a new town, and surrounded by a bunch of new people. It was very different, and a new big change that I was forced to go through. At first I did try to resist; I only went to class and I kept in contact with high school friends. But within time, I learned to break away, I realized that as time goes on I need to adapt to the changes around me. I learned to accomplish a good amount in college, well a good amount that made me feel satisfied. When you stop for a moment and reflect back on your life, it really is amazing how much everything changes, but change is a part of life, something that we can’t control, subhanAllah. I guess what helped me the most with going on is learning more about the deen. One thing that has taught me time and time again, if you don’t put your trust in Allah you’re really not going to get anywhere. We need to always put our trust in Allah, and something that should be noted just as importantly is to always have a clean and pure heart to make sure you have the correct niyaah [intention] at all times. Life is hard, I’ll admit, but one thing we need to learn and remember is that we can’t be discouraged when things don’t go our way. When we are given a situation, we need to figure out how to be calm and how to learn from the situation. So I’m sure this isn’t something people usually think of when walking around a garden but I enjoying pondering a little too much. My father loves his gardens and flowers very much, when my brothers and I were younger we used to tell him you love your flowers more than us. But he tells us how all the flowers and plants are like people, they need to be taken care of, they need to be ‘trained’ so they grow properly in the right places. While I was going through the garden I noticed these weeds, they would wrap themselves around the flowers, all around the flower up to the petals eventually killing them. My dad showed me how some of them you can rip out at the beginning and save them and then others you have to hope that it survives otherwise it’ll just die from the weed. That weed reminded me of the nafs, oh that darn nafs. There’s always something that seems to be tying us down, wrapping us so tight to the point where we feel like we have no choice, but there is always a choice. It may be easier to cut off our bad habits from the beginning, but with time, slowly but surely, you can make changes for the better, inshaAllah.

Ramadhan will start tomorrow inshaAllah, the best time to try to make changes, I have some notes from the previous years, click here.

Ramadhaan Kareem! May Allah accept all our fasts and ibadah for the month, and may he help us continue any good habits we have learned to start in the month.

Take care, speak up and be safe.

☮radf

Strength

“Don’t let anyone tell you that your tears are your weakness. They are not. Don’t deny them–find the strength in them and behind them. They are your connection to your heart: the seat of your real power.”

Take care, speak up and be safe.

☮radf

“All-American Muslim”

InshaAllah this will give a good, positive image.

TLC’s Latest Reality Show Will Look at Muslim Families in America

Call it “Muslim Modern Family.”

Cable channel TLC is hoping to do for Muslims what it did for polygamists and Sarah Palin -– put a new spin on controversial subjects that people often make judgments about without knowing the whole story.

The reality show “All-American Muslim” will follow the lives of five Muslim American families, some of whom are related, who reside in Dearborn, Mich., a suburb of Detroit that has a large Muslim population. The show will debut in late November.

The people participating in “All-American Muslim” seem to run the gamut from very religious to more casual, and all struggle to find a balance between their American home and their Muslim background.  One cast member is a football coach and another is in law enforcement. There are even splits in the level of devotion in some of the individual families. One family features two sisters –- one of whom wears a traditional head scarf and another who has tattoos and piercings and married an Irish Catholic.

“I don’t have a camel parked in my backyard,” said one cast member, Suehaila, in an early episode. Another cast member, Nawal, quipped, “I buy Burberry, I buy Louis Vuitton, I buy Fendi.”

“We wanted to show there was diversity even within the Muslim community,” said TLC General Manager Amy Winter. “These are families that might have beliefs that are different than yours, but we are all living similar daily lives and hopefully we will bring that to light.”

“All-American Muslim” is the latest TLC show that is certain to generate strong reactions. Its show “Sister Wives” about a man who has made a family with four women became a hit for the cable channel as did its series on Sarah Palin and her family called “Sarah Palin’s Alaska.”

Asked if TLC expects a backlash from viewers and advertisers, Winter said, “We usually find with TLC that the backlash occurs as soon as we start marketing something and once viewers experience the show, we get a far different response.”

Source: Los Angeles Time

Take care, speak up and be safe.

☮radf